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yes he does

April 2008




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Apr. 10th, 2008

this is fucking wheat


 Hi there,

i am out at collarenebri, which is near walgett, where my mum works. its kind of home but just not quite. i felt all relaxed and right driving out here. it felt like i was coming home. sad, isnt it. armidale feels kind of weird sometimes and i started to feel happy to be returning to it but that was when michael was there. well he still is. you know? 

but i guess ill jump in the car tomorrow drive out to the property and ball my eyes out when i see it.. it will feel weird and wrong and when i leave it wont feel right!

but i am moving bACk out here when i graduate. i am really tempted to move now but ive got to stick to something. i am really good at running away from my problems and to run now would be so passe and so me. so ill finish the degree in armidale and moove

i also decided ill probably study agronomy and be an agronomist and the like/

oh i emailled daz and you should have read his reply. hes really easy to rile up and he gets all high and mighty! haha hes so self assured about things. funny! i am not going to reply cause i am over it but when i get back to armidale i might hang out with him

oh yeah. got an appointment for the dr on sat at 11am. wish me luck.

im going to go cruise the real estate and job markets for walgett. hahaha

mums room mate annoys me. they sit and gossip which is annoying. i dont know maybe its just me getting annoyed with every little thing lately, which is getting really old.

Apr. 6th, 2008

yes he does

Tired but happy.

Hello.  I should be doing my RSNR110 assignment about diesel and alternative biofuels but I am sitting here wistfully, wondering. Feeling slightly tired, but content. Happy and hopeful. Sad and guilty. Just a little confused.

I really don't know what to say. I just thought I would come on here and talk about meeting Daz but it's still swirling around in my head. 

I need to go to the chemist.

Ok, I'm outey.

Apr. 5th, 2008

yes he does

Holy Crap!


This is weird cause I really want to name one of my kids that!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I will change my last name by deed poll to Lovecraft so she can have this goth name. I am going to have a goth baby! She will wear black nappies! weeeeeee
purrr davey purr

music survey

Music On Shuffle

Put Your Player On Shuffle

You Answer The Question With The Song You Got

Don't Cheat, Even If It Doesn't Sound Right!!!
What Does Your Mom Say When She Yelled At You?: Aneurysum - Nirvana
Your Dad Pokes You In The Head, What Does He Say To You?: Girl, You Have No Faith In Medicine - The White Stripes
A Hobo Walks Up To You, What Does He Say?: Malleus Maleficarum - afi
You're Best Friend Punches You In The Arm, What Does He/She Say?: Exsanguation - afi
You Crush Bumps Into You At School, What Does He/She Say?: the lost souls - afi
You Worst Enemy Walks Up To You What Does He/She Say?: track 09
You Are Walking Down The Street At Night When Stranger What Does He/She Say: walk like a zombie - horrorpops
You Are Running In The House When Your Brother Stops You, What Does He Say?: drain you - nirvana
Your Sister Starts Yelling At You, What Does She Say To You?: the grouch - green day
You See Your Pet, What Do You Say To Him/Her?: brain stew - green day
Your Favorite Teacher Comes Up To You, What Does He/She Say?: only of you - green day
Your Least Favorite Teacher Walks Up To You, What Does He/She Say To You?: track 07

What Song Explains Your...
Life...: charles atals - afi
Friends...: 37mm - afi
Family...: in bloom - nirvana
Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Crush...: cult status - afi
Favorite Teacher...: take the test - afi
Pet...: lithium - nirvana
Enemy...: my genereation - green day
Religion...: tourette's - nirvana
Sexuality...:  business=pleasure - grinspoon
Sex Life...: sacrifice theory - afi (HAHAHA)
Doctor...: chump - gd
Favorite TV Character...: lost control - grinspoon
Personality...: about a girl - nirvana
Looks...: the prayer position - afi (does that mean I look like an angel?)

Opening Credits: drain you - nirvana
When You Wake Up: crawl straight home - horrorpops (well really??)
Go To School: where you cant follow - horrorpops
Hang Out With Your Friends: spank thru - nirvana
You And Your Enemy Start Fighting: enemy - grinspoon (haah that ones cool)
You Go On A Date With Your Crush: why do you want him? - gd (HAHAHAHA)
Your First Kiss With Them: best for you - bad religion
You Get Home And You See That Your Siblings Jacked Up Your Room: choke - grinspoon ( yeah i choke them!)
You Go To Sleep: noone knows - gd
You Get Depressed: the nurse - the white stripes
You Commint Suicide: the authority song - jimmy eat world
Your Funeral: romance - my chemical romance
Funeral Reception: on a plain - nirvana
Ending Credits: sifting - nirvana

What Song Do You Play When You Are...
Happy: serve the servants - nirvana
Sad: caught in a blond - horrorpops
Mad: god called in sick today - afi (love this song!)
Depressed: night drive - jimmy eat world
In Love: floyd the barber - nirvana
Trying To Go To Sleep: passive manipulation - the white stripes
Going To School: stuart and the avenue - gd
Jumping Around Like A Retard: without you i am nothing - placebo
Hanging Out With Your Friends: freaks in uniforms - horrorpops
Mopeing Around Cause Your BF/GF Broke Up With You: pista 2 - nirvana
Having A Bad Day: get up - unwritten law
Bored: the killing lights - afi
Really Really Hyper: polly (punk version) - nirvana
Missing Someone: drugs or me - jimmy eat world

What Song Was Being Played When You Were...
Being Born...: cities of night - blaqk audio
Having Your First Birthday: stiff kittens - blaqk audio
Going To Your First Day Of School: on a plain - nirvana unplugged
Going Out With Your First BF/GF: blew - nirvana
Getting Your First Real Job...: one of my lies - gd
Going To Colledge: smells like teen spirit - nirvana
When You Graduated...: breed - nirvana (not for a few years)
Having Your Party...:stuck with me - gd (that would have been better for the next one!)
Getting Proposed To...: the jetset life is gonna kill you - my chemical romance
Getting Married: little ghost - the white stripes
When You/Wife Having Your First Kid: blew - nirvana (yeah ill wish it had been just a blow job! - DIRTY NEL!)
Getting A Divorce: Chemical Heart -  Grinspoon (yeah it fits!)
Dying: slave to the wage - placebo
Having Your Funreal: honey this mirror isnt big enough for both of us - my chemical romance

Put Down The Songs...
#1: panic song - gd
#2: you are (the government) - bad religion
#3: polly live - nirvana
#4: rape me - nirvana
#5: moist vagina - nirvana
#6: two of a kind - afi
#7: carried away - grinspoon
#8: the leaving song - afi
#9: wake up, open the door, and escape to the sea - blaqk audio
#10: turnaround - nirvana
#11: better off alone - grinspoon
#12: stuck with me -gd
#13: westbound sign - gd
#14: forbidden beat - bad religion

Answer The Question From The Songs Above...
#1 song reminds you of what person?: myself, definately
What is your favorite lyric from song #2: the chorus
When did you discover the band/singer from #3: when my bro got into them about 10 years ago
What's the first line of song #4: rape me, rape me again - or something like that
What's the last line of song #5: dunno mate
Can you relate to song #6: yeah
What's the first line of the chorus of #7: not sure thats their new stuff
Is song #8 your favorite song?: i love it but not my fave
How many albums do you have of #9: 1
When did you first hear song #10: a couple of months
How did you discover song #11: when i got the album
What do you like about song #12: it makes me laugh
spell song #13 without vowels: wstbnd sgn
Who would you recomend song #14 to?: everyone. bar religion are awesome

Your Them Song Is...:because of you - unwritten law
Your Best Friends Theme Song Is...: symphony no9 - ludwing van beethoven HAHAAHA
Your Worst Enemys Theme Song Is...: anuerism - nirvana
Your Mom's Theme Song Is...: s.o.b - horrorpops
Your Dad's Theme Song Is...: 80 - gd (my dad loves adrienne armstrong? wha? does billie know? ahahahahah)
Your Siblings Theme Song Is...: dead - my chemical romance
Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Crush's Theme Song Is...red rain - the white stripes
Your Celebrity Crush's Theme Song Is...: the missing frame - afi (his own song, interesing!)
What Song Does Your Friends Think Your Theme Song Is...: shes leaving tuesday - grinspoon

What song was your mom humming when she was giving birth to you?: school(live) - nirvana (my mum would be extra cool if she was humming nirvana when she bore me!)
what song was your BF/GF thinking of when they were kissing you?: strangeland - gd (HEY!)
what song where you thinking of when you were braking out of jail?: walrus - unwritten law
what song are you thinking of now?: pista 6 - nirvana

this sucked mostly cause it doesnt have all my music on here and the questions were repetitive, repetitive.

i want the time it took to do this back please!
yes he does


The coffee meeting didn't happen (I swear I am cursed.) Daz was still wiped out from his Sydney trip and working all night straight after it.  So he messaged me ssaying he was still in bed. I was ok with that. I am used to getting rejected, haha. But then tonight we've been chatting again cause I am at the Uni doing some research for my RSNR assignment that's only 1 day late. And he got all deep and asked a lot of things and he said how he like eyes on a woman and I was like  "My eye's are killer" (hahhaha I am modest aren't I?!) He said he can't really see my eyes in the pics he has seen of me so I sent him that pic I put on here, you know the one you commented on Chels, and he was like GORGEOUS. So now we are meeting for a late lunch tomorrow. Not because he said that. Well, I don't think so. He seems like a really nice guy so hey that's cool either way right??

I got some Crunchy Nut Clusters after work tonight. That's what I hate about working in a supermarket. At the end of the shift I am usually craving whatever it is I spent packing that night. This evening I was in the cereal aisle. I was craving a big bowl of cereal with ice cold milk and some banana milk to wash it down with! Yummo. But they didn't have any banana milk left. How crap is that? I have been craving anything banana lately. I'm a freak for banana. I bought some bananas and some organic milk so I'll have to make a narnie smoothie. Yum! I should be BananaGirl. Y'know just like Banana Man. "When Eric eats a banana he becomes, BANANA MAN!"

I seriously loved that show. That and SuperTed. Best. Show. Ever.

I am kind of nervous about tomorrow. I hope he isn't expecting a skinny minnie cause lately I look like I am pregnant with the Michelin Man's lovechild.

BOOM BOOM BOOM <------- The sound of me walking!!

Oh yeah I was making fun of myself and Daz told me I shouldn't talk about myself like that. Actually he gave me a semi lecture. Eeek.

Apr. 3rd, 2008

purrr davey purr

Stone the flaming crows!

I am at the Uni finishing off my assignment. It's two days late. I have been awake since about 1pm. I have been sitting in this chair, thinking about hepatitis C and liver function and entertaining Daz for the last 5 hours straight. I've had sugar, sugar, caffeine and I feel all jumpy and creaky. I don't think I will sleep cause I have two maths assignments to do before I head into my RSNR. I really buggered things up for me by being so lazy. I suck!!!

PS Daz keeps turning the conversation sexual which isn't surprising considering where I met him but it get's old. I mean come on how much sexual inuendo do I have to spout??

In other news we are meeting tomorrow evening/late afternoon for coffee. That's if I am not passed out on the floor of my house or the Maths room??

Waiting for my essay to be scanned for originality. Happy happy joy joy. If it's not done in ten minutes I'll go home, study, shower eat, watch GG and then come back. I am determined to not sleep!!!

Apr. 1st, 2008

yes he does

Here's to not exploding!

Right, right. 

We just had our last Chem prac for the Term. We had Shane. There's something about him. I don't know what it is. I am pretty sure we pissed him off again. Mathilde is a bit slow and when she needs to ask for help she stands around for about ten minutes before asking. I am getting over it and pretty much took over the prac today. I am kind of sick of always being the last people there. It makes me feel like a dumbarse. But oh well. I told Shane the sink was leaking and it had leaked all over my bag. I was revelling in the acetone smell of my bag and he said something to me. I got kind of defensive and then he had to explain it was a joke. Oh, haha. I couldn't tell a differenece from when he was getting irked at me for going so slow or when he was trying to tease me. 

Anyways, I didn't blow anyone up so that's the point of this ramble!

I got to speak to Mum last night. Matt and Jen are pretty bad. Matt actually had arranged another flat to live in because he was over the relationship and sick of Jen and her attitude. But they are back together now and trying to work things out. Jen is going to therapy and they had a big, long chat. I wish I had my contract phone again cause I would ring Matt in a heartbeat, extreme fees be damned. I sent him a message telling him I loved him and hopefully I can talk to him soon.

I gots to run and do my Biol Assignment now. I am going to photocopy everything cause I have money owing on my library card. It's the story of my life! Hahaha, library card, story. : I Nevermind!!!
Simpsons quote

Congratulate me!

I finally went to a class. I admit that lately, I've been a bad student. Very bad. I still haven't done my Biology assignment that was due yesterday. I'll do it tonight. I've just been really exhausted lately and I just slept through my alarms. I felt like I couldn't bear to get out of bed. So I didn't. Dad came and visited me yesterday and busted me still sleeping in the afternoon. WHOOPS! I am the worst student in the world. BUT. I don't want to give up yet. I know I was talking about getting a full time job but that's more of a money issue. I want to see if I can really apply myself to Uni and see how it goes? I think things will be better when Moni moves up here and I'll be sharing the burden of bills. I can't freaking wait. And considering I have holidays coming at the end of the week maybe a break is all I need. I tell you though, I am going to be working my arse off!!

Daz sent me a message last night saying goodnight and he called me "sweetheart". That's a little fast for me. I mean the only term of endearment Michael said to me was Nel. HAHA. I hope I stop thinking about him. I really am worried about him. :(

I've got a Chem Prac the sarvo then I am headed for the library to print off my Biol stuff and get my arse into gear.

These stupid goody two shoes sitting behind me in Maths (oh yeah, I am awesome cause I actually went to Maths and I UNDERSTOOD SOMETHING!) were going on about how they could never leave an assignment to the last moment and how they were already over their word limits for their assignments, blah, blah, I am so great. I wanted to whack them over the head with my Chem Prac folder. But then, that would be a waste of a good folder.

Oh dear!

Mar. 31st, 2008

yes he does

Nel's a dirty girl.

Daz, the nice bloke I was telling you about has been messaging me a lot tonight. :) He's in Sydney picking up his car and been talking about his day and the like. It's nice and it slightly reminded me of when Michael used to message me. Actually. I am worried. This is going to sound dramatic but I wonder if something has happened to Michael. Something bad? Y'know. I hope not. Maybe I just want to be in denial of the fact that he doesn't want me? That's most probably it. 

This site is addictive! I have a helicopter man sending me SMS now. 

I am off to call this bloke about a farm job. Wish me luck! 
purrr davey purr


I am thinking of derferring Uni and getting a job so I can pay off some of my debts. I really don't know what's going on anymore and I am confused about everything. I don't know what anything means anymore and I don't know what to do. The guy I contacted about farm work reckons he can get me a job so I might go with that. Defer Uni until next semester which is July and then see how things are going. I owe too much money and I don't like the feeling. Of course I know that by deferring I am going to be acruing cost on my HECS, University fees but I think it may be best in the long run. 

My brother, Matt, in England, just about split up with his fiancee. We all thought they were amazingly happy and content, and I thought they were a perfect couple, but Dad told me today that Matt doesn't think he loves Jenny anymore. That blew me away. I really want to talk to Mum cause she is the one whom they both spoke to and she would have picked up on more than Dad was telling me. Dad dropped in to see me today on his way through. He's having a rough time as well. His business is slacking, which is something we all expected. Not the business doing badly, but the demand for the jobs he does. I think it's just going to be a lull before it picks up again. But he has to get a truck to help his business keep going and he needs money to get it and he needs jobs to get the money and he needs the truck to get the jobs. Talk about Catch 22 X a million. 

I wonder how Phil is going. I hope he is better than all of us. He has to move out of his house onto campus cause his landlords want his house back, but we knew that was coming. I think he's doing OK. 

I think Mum is going well. She has been struggling because of the idiotic, immature teachers at her work, but I think she's going strong now. Hopefully, I'll talk to her tomorrow. 

Oh man I feel messed up. I feel all spaced out and my head is swimming. Which is probably a result of not taking my medication. I meant to then I decided what good was it doing for me? I feel like crap anyways. I don't know. I owe my therapist a lot of money and I really need a job to pay it off. GRRRRRRRRR.

I have to do something. I think I might call Dad and talk to him about it, but he's too busy worrying about himself. I don't want to bother anyone. 

This is where living alone sucks! 

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